Joke's For Friend's

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Joke's For Friend's DO U LOVE ME (dannyboy) Written in pen Sealed with a kiss If you love me, please answer this: Do you love me or do you not? You told me once, but I forgot, so tell me now and tell me true, so I can tell you...I Love You! Of all the girlz I've ever met, you are the one I won't forget. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you. If you are not there by Judgment Day, I'll know you went the other way. I'll give the angels back their wings, and risk the loss of everything. Just to prove my love is true, I'll go to hell, just to be with you! truly yurz danny friendship There is no shop anywhere where one can buy "true friend"... Antonio De Saint-Exupery (1900-1944) from "The litle prince" Under the magnetism of friendship .the most man becomes bold;the shy, confident;the lazy,active,or the impetuous,prudent and peaceful. William Makepeace Thackeray (1811-1863) true friend finder Emergency Friend System. This is a test of the Emergency Friend System. If this were an actual emergency you would be instructed where to tune for location information concerning your friend. This is only a test. A Friend.... A)ccepts you as you are B)elieves in "you" C)alls you just to say "HI" D)oesn't give up on you E)nvisions the whole of you (even theunfinished parts) F)orgives your mistakes G)ives unconditionally H)elps you J)ust wants to "be" with you K)eeps you close at heart L)oves you for who you are M)akes a difference in your life N)ever Judges O)ffers support P)icks you up Q)uiets your fears R)aises your spirits S)ays nice things about you T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it U)nderstands you V)alues you W)alks beside you ENGLISH FUNNY POETRY ENGLISH FUNNY POETRY --------------------- -----Punjabi Rap -------- --------------------- Now this is a story about Manjeet, Who lived on New York's 42nd Street. A hard-core desi with a desi desire, His kacha was always in a raging fire To control his heat he looked for a Kaur and started by knocking on his neighbor's door. His neighbor was of Jamaican descent, Six feet tall with a Brooklyn accent. Her name was Tyson. She looked like a Bison, But that didn't matter. Cos our veer was fatter! Jeeta was desperate, he had little choice. So he started his chat-up in a deep hefty voice; "Meri Jindagy, Meri Pyari, Meri Heer, Meri Kali!" She listened to his lines then gave him the crux; "I'll go out with you if you give me ten bucks!" He put on his Brylcream and they started to date. Jeeta was in love; "Oh, thank-joo fate!" But Aunty Bachni was on the prowl, She'd smelt the perfume, it was foul! Her senses were tingling, something was up. So she checked out our bro, she wanted the gup! She found him quickly in his pagri laal, Then gave a shriek; "OH KALI DE NAAL!" "Nee mare marrghay!" Aunty Bachno raises the alarm; "Jeeta's down town with a Kali on his arm!" "There's only one way to stop his blunder, I'll call his mother in district Jallundar!" When mummy heard the news she threw a frenzy! "Main audhay tukaray karkay rakh dhongy!" She picked up her shawl and headed for Amerika, To eliminate the girlfriend and bring back Jeeta! As soon as she landed she grabbed his ear, "Stick to Punjabis!, Maine tenoo kinee war kayha!?" Kala Kaloota Sara Tabar Loota! Why didn't you come to me? I know many Punjabis! "OK mummy ji, just find me a voti Who'll make me saag and mukhi dee roti!" "My kali friend was a bad move, She doesn't even like the Bhangra groove!" "Serves you right! I've told you many times, Marry a Punjabi, one of your own kind!" "I'll find you a kuree in England my son, I hear there are plenty in Bolverhampton!" "Mum, get the jelebis and lead the way! Punjabi girls here I come, Ballay oh Ballay!" Back to Top SINGH'N RAP II ============== Now this is a story all about Jeet Who lived on New York's 14th Street He graduated from college with a masters degree In a field known as anthropology He soon got a job in a research lab But always complained "why's life so drab!" He was constantly surrounded by geeks and nerds With e equals m c squared their only words He was a hard-core desi, I must say But his wildest spirits were being kept at bay Our desi veer could take this no more So he decided to knock on his neighbor's door His neighbor was a girl of Italian descent Who spoke with an intriguing Brooklyn accent Her name was Gina And I wish I had seen 'er Cause the way he had described her Any guy would dig her! Jeet and Gina started to date And would hangout together till pretty late "Meri Gori, Meri Sohni Gori" was all he'd say "No one can come in between us - no way!" But notorious Aunty Chugalkhor was on the prowl She sensed something in the air - was it foul? Oh yes yes yes - She was definitely in luck This, of all her stories Would be a slam dunk! She spotted her nephew in the mall And that too ... oh gori de naal !!! (AYE HAYE! Oh HO!) Well that surely did make Aunty's day A successful field day for her, I must say! She headed straight back home to make a call Undoubtedly to Jeet's mum in Balowall Jeet's mum could not believe her ears "Oh mera beta," she cried, wiping her tears She tried and tried to get hold of Jeet But each time she'd call his answerer would beep! Where on earth could the dude be? Well that's your imagination - Don't ask me! Mum's patience finally started running out So she left a message giving him the clout "Oh JINNY GORI noo chhadd dey Te vapas aja aithay!" Jeet was obviously taken by surprise Who the hell had blown his guise? But now was not the time to guess He had to quickly get outta this mess He drummed up the courage to call his mum But before he could speak, someone shouted "YOU BUM!" Of course it was mother in a terrible mood And now was not the time to be a dude! "OH tu Amrika vich kee karda phirda Murrh ke aja te tera viah kardiyay aithay Ik kurrhi hagayee barrhee piyarree Te puree seva karugee teyree!" But Jeet was clearly not impressed It was Gina with whom he was so obsessed He told his mum that that was no deal And that his piyaar for Gina was the one for real Once again mother hit the roof She could not believe that Jeet was such a goof! She hung up the phone And in the harshest of tones cried "Mundiya - you're now on your own." Just the next day ... Jeet and Gina tied the knot And their happiness together was easy to spot The days went on ... But with hardly a year gone ... Jeet Singh started to realize What was happening To his wallet's size! Was Gina just after his money? Or did she really mean it When she'd say "Oh honey!" A few rotten thoughts crossed his mind But he thought he was simply just going blind But one sad day, Gina spilled the beans She said she was leaving for New Orleans She had met a guy called Tom, And so wanted a divorce Which left our young veer in such remorse He remembered his mum's favorite words: "Goreeyan da koee parosa nayee hunda" And thought to himself: "Wasn't I a brainless munda" The divorce settlement did take place And he lost half his assets - Let alone his face! His despair could always be seen in his eyes But everyone knows that "desiness" never dies He soon met Mad-Mats who taught him to rhyme And ever since then: "ARRANGED MARRIAGE, BUSS ARRANGED MARRIAGE" - has been his constant chime !!!!!! --kenchee aitho(n) maro-- Back to Top SINGH'N RAP 3 ============== O Balle Balle Balle ... YO YO YO! The maddest and the baddest is back again With another wild rap to drive you insane So whoz the story 'bout this time? Well its all 'bout Jeet - me partner'n rhyme Remember the dude who married a gori? Well he's back again in yet another story !! Refresh your minds when the dude got dumped When Gina suddenly said ciao and left him stumped Now a year has passed since that sorrowful day And our veer has since come a long way He wrote a dozen letters to his dear mum Saying "Maaf Karna Ji, I was a real bum!" "Arranged Marriage, Buss Arranged Marriage is the only true way That an ishq connection will forever stay" "Valentine's Day is almost here And the smell of ishq is in the air!" "So mummy ji, please find me a sohni vohti Who'll make me the saag and maki di roti" His mum read the letters and wept with joy What wonderful words to hear from her boy! "Oh Jeetya, mera beta, aja mera raja I forgive you I forgive you so aja vayee aja" "There's a beautiful and dutiful vohti for you So chhaytee vapas aja and we'll find her for you" Jeet jumped on a plane the very next day And was soon back home eating paronthhay Mummy ji then opened the album And asked Jeet to make his selection There was Neeti from Ludhiana and Preeti from Patiala And Meena from Samrala and Reena from Ambala! The photos of girls went on and on ... And Jeet kept looking until 'twas dawn! It sure was hard trying to choose So Jeet thought ... Let's meet them all there's nothing to lose! His head was now spinning outta control As he pulled out the dice and began to roll! Three showed up, so who could that be? Yep that meant a trip to see Preeti! They got to Patiala just before four And Preeti's father opened the door They talked and talked for a quite a long while And man, was it great to see everyone smile! But then her dad learnt all 'bout Gina ... Could Preeti marry Jeet? ... Na jee na! Jeet's mum tried real hard to change his mind Hoping that those events could be put behind ... Mera beta is a top scientist in New York city Working for a company making plenty of money He drives a Toyota - yes a phully-loaded Camry! And has a beautiful condo in the city He is a caring and loving young man ofcourse So let's not talk about his innocent divorce! But Preeti's father was hard to convince And in his eyes, Jeet was no prince! So that then called for a trip to Jalandhar To meet an MBBS girl called Narinder She was sitting and reading on the balcony Buried in a tome that read Human Anatomy She wore glasses so thick - Jeet could swear ... They were the latest in bullet-proof designer wear! He asked her then if her nickname was Nerd But she just looked away not saying a word! Jeet then decided to show off his knowledge By recalling something he'd learnt in college The human body has 200 bones do you know ... ... 206 she interrupted but children have more She then began naming them all And Jeet just smiled and stared at the wall She talked about Caesarean sections And about heart bypass operations But when the subject changed to vasectomies Jeet just cringed and said: "Mummy, next please!" So then to Jagraon they went to see Mohno But Jeet messed up when he said: "Ki haal ai Moto!" She glared at him right in the eye And Jeet knew right then it was goodbye! So the barfi and laddoo were still nowhere in sight And everyone by now was dying for a bite! In Chandigarh, Raunki was his mother's first choice Who just loved to hear the sound of her own voice She talked and talked and talked and talked So Jeet just gave up and out he walked! And then 'twas time to meet Jasmeen A kurri from Delhi who was only nineteen She opened the door and said: "Hi, aap kaisay ho?" And Jeet looked up and said "Oh no!" What had happened to our piyaari boli? That was the problem with the folks in Delhi! In Ludhiana city, Jeet then met Neeti An interesting girl though she looked past thirty! And then down the road he went to see Reena But her name sounded too much like Gina! Mummy ji was now getting upset On seeing how picky Jeet could get! "Oh tu Jinny gori de naal na compare kar, rajay Punjabi larkian vee bahut sohnian hundian ay Yaad rakh ... beautiful te dutiful ... Ay kurrian gulab de phul vargian hundian ay!" So next in line was Moni ... A pretty young woman with a Home Science degree She was cooking in the kitchen when Jeet got there Wow! Now his cupboard at least would never be bare! But she brandished the belNa in such a way That Jeet signaled his mum "cholo chaliyay!" Jeet was now quite depressed His life was more than totally messed Rano turned him down because he was clean shaven and Mano said no because he was five-feet-seven! His mum's favorite words came to mind: "gulab de phul" But now all he could think of was: "gobi de phul!" Jeet decided to hit the local dhaba And sat down to have an alloo da parontha He just had taken his second bite When he suddenly choked on a lovely sight There she stood the woman of his dreams Balle oh balle ... the queen of queens! She was the prettiest woman he had ever seen Prettier than any model in Vogue magazine! But then he remembere ****************************************************** ***************** Kaun Banega Crorepati ? ************************ ******************************************************* With Amitabh's bungalow and bank accounts being attached by the income tax authorities to recover the tax dues, here's the Kaun Banega Karodpati joke doing the rounds : Big B : Welcome to the show. My name is Amitabh Bachchan. Here's our latest contestant Jahnvi and she's from Delhi. Jahnvi,are you feeling lucky tonight ? Jahnvi : Yes.i am. Let's see how lucky can I get ? Big B : Are you ready for your first question ? Jahnvi : Yes Big B : If you answer correctly, you win Rs. 1,000. What is the name of my company ? Is it a) CCDL b) BBCL c) ABCL d) ZSCL Big B : Take your own time Jahnvi : The answer is C. ABCL Big B : sure? Jahnvi : Yes Big B : Confident? Jahnvi : Yes Big B : Final Jawaab ? Jahnvi : Yes Big B : You have three lifelines left, are you sure that you don't want to use any of them Jahnvi : Definitely Big B : So should I ask computer to lock ABCL Jahnvi : There's no need for you to lock it, it is already locked for the past two years!! Back to Top *********************************************************************** The Cockroach One quiet evening at home, a man's doorbell rang.He opened the door to find a six-foot-tall cockroach standing outside. The cockroach quickly punched him between the eyes & scuttled away. The next evening the doorbell rang again. The man opened the door to find the cockroach was back. This time the big bug punched him, kicked him,and karate-chopped him before racing away. On the third evening, the cockroach was back yet again. When the man opened the door, it jumped at him and stabbed him several times before running off. Although gravely injured, he managed to crawl to the telephone and call for an ambulance. He was rushed to intensive care, and his life was saved. The doctor came to visit him during morning rounds the following day and asked him what had happened. The man explained aboutthe cockroach's attacks and the stabbing that almost killed him. After a moment's thought, the doctor said, "Yes, I hear there's a nasty bug going around. Back to Top ************************************************************* Misc. jokes A Japanese tourist arrived in New Delhi. While traveling in a taxi, he happened to observe that everything in India moved at a slower pace compared to his own country. Unable to contain him, he said to the taxi-driver, "Your taxis are too slow, Japanese taxies go very fast. Look at your buses, they ply at a snail's pace. In Japan, buses run like hell.Look at the speed of your motorcycles. Japanese motorcycles seem to talk to the air". At the end of the journey, the taxi fare amounted to Rs. 100. "What! Exclaimed the furious Japanese. "Your taxi meter runs too fast". "Yes why not?" Spewed the taxi driver. "It's after all made in Japan, Sir!" ------- This happened to an American visitor in Madras. In his hotel room he picked up the telephone one night and asked for a 7-Up. The switchboard operator answered in his best English, "7-Up? Yes Sir." The cold drink never arrived, but the next morning the tourist was woken punctually at seven o' clock. ------- Two bachelors were talking about their respective choice of life partner.One friend said"It is generally said that people with opposite characteristics make the happiest marriages. What is your opinion?" The friend replied, "Yes, they are right. That is why I am looking for a girl with money!" ------- A guy went to the doctor to get some medicine, as he was not feeling well. "This is pretty strong stuff"said the doctor"So take some first day, then skip a day take some again and then ship another day and so on."A few months after the doctor met his wife and asked how he was. "Oh he is dead", she told him. "Did not the medicine I prescribed do him any good?"asked the doctor. "Oh the medicine was all right", she replied. "It was all that skipping that killed him". ---------------------------------------------------------- An Indian Politician returned home after his first visit to England. Pressmen surrounded him and asked him what it was he had been impressed with most about the English People. "They are very educated race" replied the politician. "Even a two-year-old child can speak English". ------------------------------------------------------------------- 6. Sonali: You look really foolish to me with those thick lens glasses. Ropali: Yeah, but if I remove them, you will look foolish to me. ------------------------------------------------------------------- 7. Baker: Shall I pack your usual order - 1kg chocolate cake? Fat lady: Yes, but don't cut it into usual 12 pieces. Cut it into just 4 pieces - I am on a diet. Back to Top ------------------------------------------------------------------- A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office,ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too closely and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied,"Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." "My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?" ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Back to Top -------------------------------- Dinner -------------------------------- Two Cannibals are having a bar-b-que... One turns to the other and says: "You know, I just can't stand my mother-in-law." The other replies: "Then try the potato salad." -------------------------------- Ultimate computer -------------------------------- The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer Company's production line, at which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo. "This", he said, "is the Ultimate Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it."A smartass who ran a humor mailing list stepped forward and asked, "Where is my father?" There was the soft hum of powerful electronic gear going to the task. Panel lights lit and blinked, and within a couple of seconds the laser printer printed out a piece of paper: "Fishing off Florida." The smartass laughed, "Actually, my father is dead! It was a trick question."The salesman, quickly thinking on his feet, replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as the Ultimate Computer was precise, perhaps a rewording of the question might work better. The smartass said to the Ultimate Computer, "Where is my mother's husband?" Again, the hum of the powerful electronic brain filled the room. After a moment, the laser printer whirred to life. The paper said: "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Florida." ................................................................. Back to Top **************************************** ***********Sardar Jee in madras ******* ***************************************** One sardar came to madras and wanted to do shopping in Burma bazaar. his tamilian friend told the sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price. Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs. Sardar asked for Rs.1000.vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which sardar told no, no only Rs.900.Vendor told ok , i will give it for 1500 Rs for which sardar bargained for Rs.750.it was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will givethe sardar the stereo free of cost. Our sardar asked whether he will give two. .................... ==Santa Banta==== ------------------------------ Santa: What is the difference between a MOSQUITO and a FLY? Banta: A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO! ~ ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Suez Canal ~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other. Santa singh : Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal? Santa singh : Well, my father dug it. Banta singh : Yes, I have Banta singh : That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea? Santa singh : Yes, I have. Banta singh : Well, my father killed it. Back to Top -------------------------------------------------------- singh jokes Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Parhney waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass). ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone." "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area.The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Banta Singh." It said , FINE FOR PARKING HERE." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death. "The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him. "Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the haryanavi. "My father was 182 cms tall." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two Sardarjis were in conversation on the beach : Sardarji 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ? Sardarji 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ? Sardarji 1 : Nahe pata. Sardarji 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye ise beach kahete hai . ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rajsi complained to his friend about his wife ' My wife never agrees with anything I say. And we have been married for six years .' Mrs Rajsi intervened, ' Not six we have been married for seven years ! ' ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' . One day his wife fed up of this answered : ' Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'. That ended the husband's witticisms. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Teacher : If we breath oxygen in the daytime, what do we breath at night? Pupil :Nitrogen? Back to Top ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mrs Kartar had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband . She sent it to her husband by parcel post along with a note. The note said : ' The buttons of the sweater are removed since they were too heavy and added to the postage . You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater . ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Avtar & Kartar used to stay in same building . Avtar on the Ground floor &Kartar on the 25thfloor. One day when the lift was not working , Kartarinvited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25thfloor to find Kartar's flat closed from outside and had a note which read : ' How did you enjoy your dinner ? ' Not to be outdone , Avtar wrote under it , ' Sorry , I could not make it . ' ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Banta showed his palm to a palmist . He examined the lines on Banta's hand & said,'A beautiful girl will come into your life, but be very careful.' 'Why should I have to be careful?' asked Banta. 'She should be careful of her life. I drive a Redline bus!' ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Singh & Banta Singh had strong reservations against the Mandal Commission's recommendations. They found an ingenious way to get round them. Santa Singh's daughter, Manjeet married Banta Singh's son, Diljit.They named their grandson Mandal Jeet. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Banta Singh went to eat in ramshackle hotel. To his surprise the waiter who came to serve him happened to be one of his classmate at school. Banta called him and said 'Aren't you ashamed of working in a seedy joint like this?' 'Not at all,' replied the classmate. 'I would be ashamed if Iate my meal here. I only work in this place.' ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 'Take me to the 10th floor,' said Banta Singh as he entered the lift of a high rise bulding. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and said, 'The 10th floor, beta.' 'Why did you call me beta?' demanded Banta Singh. 'I am not your son.' 'I called you beta because I brought you up,' replied the liftman. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Singh got his promotion and become an officer in Punjab Government. To keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to all his subordinates. One morning, his peon peeped through the door tosee if his boss was busy. Santa Singh noticed him and shouted, 'Why are you outstanding! Please income.' -------------------------- bakri chari pahar te surkhi powder laa ke, bakara maaray ceetiyan pant shirt paa ke. ha ha haa aha hai naan .ab aik aur . khud ko ker buland itna ke k2 per pohanch jaaye , khudhi ko ker buland itna ke k2 per pohanch jaaye. khuda banday se khud poochay bata abay gadhay ab neechay kessay utray gaa. Subject: SCIENCE JOKE American scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, America announced that the ancient Americans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network! Naturally, the government of India was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass and they soon announced that the ancient Indians 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fibrenet!! Pakistani scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Pakistanis 55,000 years ago had Wireless (cellular) telephones!!! A JOKE There was a very busy barber. It was a routine of many days that a young boy with long hair came to him and asked "Are you busy now? After when you will get spare?". The barber normally replied "After an hour or half an hour or two hours". One day when the boy went away receiving the same answer, the barber sent his assistant to investigate from where the boy would come and where he would go. After an hour the assistant returned and said: "It is not known from where he comes, but it has been completely known that he goes to your house" THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. When he arrived, the waiting room was filled with patients. He approached the reception desk. The receptionist was a large, imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE - YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?" All of the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION; AND I'D LIKE THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS A JOKE At a party, a women was observing a child who would hold his chest whenever he bent down. After a few minutes, the woman asked the kid, "Why do you hold your chest whenever you bend down?" The kid said, "One day, my teacher was writing on the board, the chalk fell down, and when my teacher bent down to pick up the chalk, I saw her lungs comes out of her chest."